11 tips for taking kids to London's 'grown-up' restaurants by Milly KR

Milly Kenny-Ryder is a food writer, photographer and consultant who has the enviable job of sampling the best menus in London and beyond - more often than not with her two young boys in tow. So she was the first person I turned to for insights on how she navigates being able to enjoy 'grown-up' restaurants with her kids. 

Milly's tips:

• When kids are aware of how things work, they're more comfortable. So staff are more comfortable, so you're more comfortable. Talk to them about what's going to be happening.

• If we don't welcome children in restaurants, they won't ever learn how to behave in restaurants when they get older. Learning to eat in a public setting is part of learning to socialise – not to mention trying new flavours, textures and ingredients. People assume I'm selfish, that I just don't want to give up on going to restaurants because I've got kids now, but actually it's quite the opposite: it's exhausting!

• Being in restaurants provides great opportunities to practise engaging with people; for example, at the end of every meal my kids go up and say thank you to the chefs. If they want something, my eldest knows he needs to ask the server. Of course it doesn't always go smoothly – they have their moments just like everyone.

• I don't force them to try things. It is classic psychology: they'll always push back. Trust that with time and practice they will copy the adults around them. As soon as they see me and my partner, you know, chewing on a frog's leg, as was happening the other day at a restaurant, they were fighting over the last one! I've learnt to give them space and it is amazing the things they will try.

• I've found that restaurants that are open at lunchtime will usually accept children. But if I'm not sure, I will call ahead and check they're happy for me to bring kids. I've only had two or three restaurants in the whole of London that, even at lunchtime, have categorically said no. Generally it used to be the case that some places thought they were too cool for kids, but nowadays it's considered cool to take your kids along to things. Particularly in East London they're all so achingly relaxed: it goes against their whole demeanour to put up a fuss about a kid!

• A trend in London restaurant design at the moment is counter seating, which is not ideal for children. It's worth having a look online to find pictures of the dining room. For a lot of people, going to restaurants is special and they might go out for a meal only a few times a year, so I get it – you want to feel relaxed for a special occasion. Space is important, too, and a lot of trendy London restaurants are super cramped.

• Interestingly I've never ever had any issues with Michelin-star places. Fine dining is a dying art in London so Michelin-star places are so delighted to see anyone under the age of 60. Particularly children! I've found the places that have more of a problem with kids even at lunchtime are business-type places, like in Mayfair. But what I find mad is that a lot of the grown-ups who are dining in these restaurants are far worse-behaved than most children are.

• The restaurants that have been most welcoming to my kids are the smaller ones where the owner or chef has young kids themselves, like Don't Tell Dad in Queen's Park. The kids might be able to have a look at the kitchen, or they might be given a little extra something that feels special to them – none of it's premeditated but it's because the chefs or owners just get it.

• Kids' menus seem to be designed for around age five to eleven, so portions are often quite big for my kids who are 3 and 5. I'll often order one kids' menu for them to share, to avoid too much food wastage, and it leaves them some tummy space to pick at some of our food and get involved in the adult dining experience.

• Spontaneity can be quite useful with kids because if you've got a table booked at a certain time and then a tantrum or something delays you, it's stressful. So, when I can, I'll aim for a walk-in for an early lunch seating.

• Kids often get a bit ignored in a restaurant setting, or they sense they need to be good or are told to stay quiet with a colouring book. It usually leads to difficult behaviour – I mean, no one likes being ignored, do they? – so making conversation that they can be part of goes a long way.

Thanks Milly!

Milly's instagram is full of excellent recommendations – not to mention her beautiful photography.

Discover our ever-evolving list of grown-up restaurants that welcome kids here.